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Awesomeness (In the Flesh)
My Shadow is My Graffiti
17th-Feb-2011 02:38 pm - Immortal
Giddy Russia

Wrote thise little drabble/Oneshot for my best friend, Nancy, who is the Hungary to my Prussia. ^L^
Now I know that in no part of the story was Lizzie in her green dress and Prussia in his white knight outfit, but hey, it's fanFICTION, AMIRIGHT? Xd

Name: Immortal
Rating: PG (For character death and boob-talk)
Pairings: PruHun and Germancest
Summary: Gilbert gives Lizzie one of the biggest wonders of her life in the smallest of packages, a gift that will follow her through her life, even after the Prussian Empire has fallen.


Every word they spoke seemed reason to spring into a debate, and neither of them wanted that in this sort of unbearable, sticky heat. They were reduced to sitting under a large tree, groggy and unaware of anything but the hum of the June bugs and the heat. Both of the them were barefoot and had taken precautions: Her with her long hair strung into a messy bun atop her head, her sleeves rolled back over her shoulders, her dress hiked up mid-thigh; she missed the days where she could have taken her shirt off when not in the presence of high society. When she could have lax manners and ride a horse normally, instead of side-saddle. Even now, when she was feeling expecially dangerous, she would dawn men's clothes and would sneak out to meet him, just because she missed the old adventure of being a boy.

Speaking of which, Gilbert had taken off the belt securing his white shirt; he let the fabric hang around his neck, too lathargic to finish the job. He wished he could shed his britches and jump into the nearby lake, but ever since Elizabeta had figured out something insanely important, that was impossible. Before, he would cannon-ball in buck naked and she would follow in her underclothes, claiming that she was smarter: if anyone showed up and saw him so wild, they'd be massacured.

"Cheep!" God damn, did he go anywhere without those things!?!?!?!

"Cheep!" She was gunna stab it in a minute!

Thens she felt something on her head. What the hell? She slowly looked up, but, unable to see anything of course, she reached up lathargically. She felt something fluffy and soft, and looked at Gilbert accusingly.

"His name is Otto. He's Gilbird's twin brother. I don't need two Gilbirds," he said simply. He smirked. "Have him. Maybe he can teach you how to be awesome?"

"Why would I want-" she began

"He's really cool," Gilbert went on, not to be denyed. "He'll never ever leave you. Plus, he's travel size!"

She was going to refuse him, but the Prussian seemed so intent on giving it to her, and she had to admit it was sorta cute. So she put the groggy, overheated little puffball on her head, and went itched her dress up a tad bit more.....not that it helped much.


Thank God for the air conditioner. She sat in front of it, her hair blowing back a little. Once, the little chick on her head was almost blown away, but she caught him and stuck him back in his place. He pecked at the flower in her hair a bit, but otherwise snuggled in comfortably.

She had figured out some years ago that Otto had been one of biggest wonders of her life stuffed into the smallest of packages. She finally knew why Prussia kept Gilbird around wherever he went: the little buggar wouldn't die! Not that she had tried to kill him, but he was over 400 years old! He'd even been chased down by Roderich's only dog (He was a German after all, and had a huge dog) and almost chewed to bits, and after some healing he was just like the day she had gotten him: Not a day past

chickhood, cheeping indignantly when it was too hot or cold and always snuggled into her hair.

She had ton say, she missed his stupidity. She missed his random comments, his tactless flattery ("You're boobs look amazing in that dress!") and the fact that he could be intriguingly smart and actually very intellectual when he wanted to be....but that was next to never. She missed going to his house with the excuse of having a question about Otto, and not leaving until they were both content with her doing so. She had no idea what they had been - Friends? Lovers? Siblings? or something else? - but she missed it.

He had died after there was no need for him anymore. The Berlin wall and, therefore, East Germany had fallen. She'd watched as both brothers had picked each other out of the crowd easily and raced into a tight embrace that could have easily broken backs. She watched as they kissed feverishly, Gilbert whispering sweet nothings to the person he was closest to in the whole world. Tears welled up in her eyes at the sight of both of them distraught, unsure of how much time they had left together.

Rome was remembered by millions, keeping him alive as a ghost in people's dreams.

The Prussian Empire was already hastily becoming something like an old wive's tale.

And that's when it happened: Gilbert pressed their foreheads together with a hand behind the blonde's head, murmuring something in German or Russian she couldn't lipread, though she guessed it was one of his random poems. In another time and place, Ludwig will tell her the synopsis: "We all end up in our coffins. Some people stagger toward it, some people walk with pride. But I will not die; I am immortal to you."

The Prussian took a moment to stare into the Aryan's blue eyes, both of them too caught up on emotions to cry. For a single moment they simply held each other like that, tightly, controllingly, and somehow Gilbert found the balls to flash one of those ironic, canine, evil smiles.

And then, in nothing magical or amazing or awe-inspiring, his hands went slack and he fell forward into Ludwig's arms, dead.

She had heard something somewhere....where she did not know, but she remembered it now: "When King Luther dies in Act 5, Shakespeare simply writes 'He Dies.' There is no brilliant final words, metaphors, or fanfare. Shakespeare doesn't beat around the bush. The culmination of the most famous playwrite is 'He Dies.' It takes no genious to understand or translate or create a line like 'He Dies.' It's universal in every resepct. That is all I ever want anyone to say when I die: 'He died'. It is natural to be sad upon hearing those words, because we knew the life that was written prior to the words, and that there is no continuation. I only want people to be happy about the life I was able to live, and not cry that my story was discontinued, because every story ends and there's always a better one. Even if I am the most Awesome thing to happen, ever!"

Who had said that? .....Oh yeah, you did, Gilbert. You'd flashed that grin at me, and said. "Lizzie, remember: Life is an occasion. Rise to it!"

She watched as Ludwig fell to his knees, defeated, with his brother in his arms. His brother, beaten and battered and bruised but who had smiled in the face of death. Who had smiled evily and practically snarled, "Bring it, Hell. Bring it on."

After a few moments, she felt it appropriate to find a way through the crowd and lay a hand on his shoulder softly, kneading his muscles a bit. He didn't look up at the woman whom he had practically called his mother, or Roderich, who had moved in from somewhere else. Softly, she leaned down, covering Ludwig's eyes with her small hands. Right beside his ear she murmured softly, "No tears, Ludwig. You will let no tears fall in the face of him. He would surely roll in his heavenly grave."

Otto chirped.

I guessed he was cold and took him up in my hands, snuggling him close to my heart for a long moment. Then I decided, on a whim, that it was time to make a needed visit to Ludwig and tease him for his childhood.

She could feel Gilbert smiling at her for that. He truely was immortal to those who will never forget him.

P.S: The quote about King Luther is from Mr. Magorium's Wonder Imporium. Oh, how I love that movie! WATCH ITTTT.


9th-Feb-2011 01:04 am - Never
Angsty Vampire
Went home last Friday. EXACTLY seven months in. No Chris yet.

I don't let myself like boys anymore. Seems it never works out. Went face-first with Jay, and every boy after that hasn't worked. There was also that insanely awkward spell with Jessie.....
So anyway, Sam Fass. Here we go: he asked me out about three random weeks ago over a text, when I had just met him, like, legit, three days before. I found it desperate and stupid, and said no right away, of course. I love my friends to death, so to be my boi you gotta be something special lol. I know that sounds like high standards for someone who can't afford them, but hey, I'm sorry. I believe in love before labels.
Seems like he doesn't, cause he's had about for girlfriends in the last three weeks, and he's always taling about a "Possible" girlfriend. Yet he doesn't seem like a player......
Once he's called me cute, I think, over text. I've found people say a lot more when they arn't face to face. Kinda sad. Moving on, I denied it, of course. I mean, I will stare into the mirror for an hour, studying my jawline and my eyes and my eyebrows. I'll make faces and pick out the ones I, myself, think are cute. However, that doesn't mean I actually am attractive. I just find keeping an ego gives you a raincoat for the insults.
So we were gunna hang out today. In the morning he said he couldn't, yet he runs up onto my bus with a simple "I'm coming over" and I was like "Sure? lol okay."'
Can't believe my mom let me in my room. Alone. With the door shut. FAIL. LMFAO.
Not like we did anything. ^L^ I had never even held a long conversation with him until today.
A couple times I thought of it - ya know, in passing. Like "Oh, the door is shut. THE THINGS THAT CAN BE DONE WHEN THE DOOR IS SHUT AHURHURHUR" XD
He talked about music non-stop I've learned. Screamo. That's it. :I Tad bit annoying, I guess. Not as annoying as when Tom and I are both trying to be stubborn asses, but still lol.
So I drive him home and he texts me later, and he says, exactly, "Heyyyy lol can I tell u aomething"
"Uk wen we were in ur room?"
"Yeah???" I felt something murmuring in the pit of my stomach, warning me.
"I wanted 2 kiss u but i wasnt sure howd u react so i didnt"
I was at the mall, and my mama was buying me a new phone since my old one was gunna get shut off soon. I stared at the words for a long time, silently.  I thought about his girlfriend habits, how we'd been alone in my room, how he'd been quick to ask me out, etc. I just kinda looked at those misspelled words and wished I was anyone but me, because I really don't deserve anyone.
Simply because I do not trust anyone exept for Jay and Gina. All I can think of is how they're probably lying and just trying to be a lady killer, even if they're genuine. I hate it.
Moving on, I didn't reply for a long while. He wrote "u there" and I felt really bad. Still didn't know what to say, even though I wasn't at a loss anymore, so I waited some more and apologized with the excuse of having a new phone.
He asked if I got his last texts. Yup. Told him I didn't know how I'd react. He thought I'd slap him. Told him I probably wouldn't've (LOOK WHAT STEVEN GOT AWAY WITH!) and that I had never been kissed (PSHHHH not where it counted at least.....Now I sound like Kurt...No wonder Nancy's Sam and I'm the gay one...). He said "So ud let me kiss u nd not slap me". Somehow, that restating of the facts made me feel....not good. And when I said yes reluctantly he just said "kk lol." WTF!?
Couldn't believe he'd want to kiss me, and I said that.
Called me kissable and lovable and cute.
I denied that.
Said he loved me already.
I doubted it.
Talked a few hours later. Poked him over a text.
Kissed me over a text.
Whined and playfully slapped him over a text.
And for the rest of the night we talked about his nonexistant dad, his bitchy mom. He wasn't in a good mood. Called him after Glee, since he asked me too, (OMYGAWDDDDDD WHYYY!?!?! I SWEAR DAVE BETTER END UP WITH KURTTTTT) and we tlked a bit. Nothing important.
Didn't get to say goodnight.

22nd-Jan-2011 12:42 pm - Smart stupidity
I am absolutely AWESOME.
smiles to absorb your tears and all your fears. Laughs to heal the wounds of war. Assurance in hot headed assumptions to divert the terror and instability. Stupidity to bleach the complications from life. And love for no good reason. -- gilbert to his younger bruder ludwig

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

At Nancy's.
Maybe gunna cosplay in public today at the mall. Depends if i can get mah wig on right. xD
aw Christian and his new crew cutt. And heard he may have been sexually assaulted at his old foster home.....Don't even get me started on a rant.-_______________-
5th-Jan-2011 03:59 pm - Broken
Giddy Russia
Computer is broken. Scared to tell Les. Scared he'll flip. It WAS his computer. Been about a month.

Got to see MaMa a week from christmas. Willed myself not to cry.

Haven't seen Christian

Nothing really new cept the year. My resolutions:
Go Home
Get Back on Good Terms with Jessie
Be a good friend

People in my band class suck. -________________-

P.S: My pillow pet, Tony, is named after America's Alien and Jason's pillow pet Crush the Turtle is his best friend. And they have human forms. ^L^ NOT CREEPY AT ALL. XD
19th-Dec-2010 01:47 am - Fixed!
MaMa called me today. Cried in front of the Pillow Pets kiosk in Emerald Square. Takes a lot to make someone cry by the PILLOW PETS.
She got out of butler yesterday.

Computer broke a week ago. Les has no idea.

Saw Prout's nutcracker. XD When the ballarinas came out, a random person yelled "OH YEAH, BALLARINA'S YEAH!" into the dead silence. Gina and I had the most amazing laughing fits locked in Jay's car. Speaking of which, he has my spongebob hat!

On tht subject, I went to his house. He litterally almst tore me apart because he called something "gay" and I, taking offense, called him gay jokingly. I finally said sorry after a test of wills. I could tell he was pissed. Later, his siblings instigated a fight with him. He blew up and ended up hurting them and walking out into the cold Dec. rain. I went after him when he didn't come back after a second. Couldn't see him in the pitch black, so I walked back. He came in a moment later. I put on I'm Yours on by Jason Mraz, took his hand and mine (Pushed Gina to take the other) and we sang to him as he sat slouched against the basement pole, head hanging, hair soaked.
On the way home, I sat behind him. Pulled my Spongebob hat over his eyes. When I got out, I opened his door and  said "I don't care if you want it or not," before pulling him into a quick hug I shld have held longer, thinking about how his head fell into the crook of my neck.
His father's horrid vilence is really starting to take a toll on him. The word "gay" is now a switch to this temper. I frightens me. I want to tell his dad to STFU. GET A LIFE AND STOP PICKING ON YOUR KID. BITCH.

Sleeping over Nancy's for the weekend. I love being here. =)
6th-Dec-2010 04:23 pm - Hypocrites and Puppy Dogs
Save Me
GiGi told JayJay
Gave a weak excuse
Dinner got in the way
Dishes, too.
A little yelling aimed at me from parents,
and then I got the guts
To call.

Called me a hypocrite
Right after a funny "YOU WHAT!?
Told me, kinda laughing
He didn't wanna hear anything from me
Then he had to leave.

Kiara died today.
Didn't want to tell him after he
said that
But I didn't want him to be

Still got marks.
Reading Crank.
She calls it the Monster,
calling to her.
After I felt guilty,
it eats at me.
After I felt better
Not ready to flip-out.

One monster,
Two monster,
fight to the death.

One monster,
Two monster,
Grow heavier,
Outweigh the other.

One monster,
Two monster,
waiting for one to win.

One day,
Two Day,
Three day,
How many days till one hits the floor?

Wait it out,
Watch out!
5th-Dec-2010 07:55 pm - Sorry, baybe.
Figured out why I sit on the computer for hours
Into the early morning.
Until I crash.
Figured out why I deny myself sleep.

The path to sleep is long, quiet, and thoughtful.
When Christine Barney thinks, she makes herself depressed.
When Christine Barney thinks, she makes herself angry.
When Christine Barney sits down to think, it's never good.

Somewhere between throwing something heavy at he wall,
And screaming to my pillow,
And punching something way too solid to not break my hand,
And sobbing and sobbing and sobbing,
I bit my wrist.
Bit good and hard, without thinking.
Waited for some kind of pop, some kind of break, some kind of blood.
Dug harder and harder, trying to find that give,
Like popping a pimple,
untill the pain was too great
And I let go.
Two mores times,
and I finally knocked it the fuck off.

I didn't feel too angry anymore.
Didn't feel like flipping out.
Then a pang of guilt.

Turned Gina's day worse than it was.
But I didn't want her
To find out how the way I did
The destructive way.

I'm sorry
Sorry my "Hey Baybe"
Turned into a "I pulled an ashley"
Sorry there's puffy raised spots on my wrist.
That burn like fuck.
5th-Dec-2010 08:33 am - Obviously.
Angsty Vampire
Hanging out with Jay all day. ;) He's obviously amazing. XD
Anyway, just wanted to chronical a few things.

The other day I went out for an hour long walk (Which kept me out till almost dark and had be going farther than I should, really) and came back to Emma in the high chair, and Kathleene going through some stuff on the kitchen table. Didn't think much of the dead silence, so I went to my room. Went on facebook. Nothing new.
Then I hear Kayla's gram, Joan, come up stairs asking why Kat's stuff was all near the door. Kat's apparently leaving?? I went to my doorway to listen, hardly able to breathe.
Later, Breonna told me animatedly that Kat had asked Les to fix a broken door. He'd said he wld when he got around to it, and this is a guy who stressed like fuck for Christmas (DCYF doesn't give money for presents, those bastards), has a zillion other things that need to get done, and is utterly overwhelmed. She says he wants it done soon. They both think the other is copping an attitude. They start fighting. Bree is trying to track down the baby. Kat won't stop instigating the fuck out of the situation. They're screaming. Finally Les actually looses his temper and has her against the wall, like, choking her. Kat's in shock. Bree's trying to console the baby. Then later Les almost shoves and door into Kat when she's holding Emma. Something about he had her on the bed or something. Bree snatched the baby away. Les ended up leaving, and Kat was gathering her things.
I didn't cry. For some reason, though I felt sad, I couldn't cry. Even though I latched on to Kat first, I guess my body is too used to people leaving. I just went back into my room quietly, hoping with all my might that she wouldn't leave. This family was practically my dream family, give or take a few of the kid's attitudes...
I never liked men and their temper, but somehow, I can't hate Les.
Later they came home together, after a bunch of in and out shit and stuff. Les made some ravioli for us to eat. It was a silent dinner with them two, Emma and I. Later, with Bree and I in our rooms, I heard Les telling Kat gruff things from the kitchen, like "Obviously I don't want to see you go, and obviously I don't want my daughter to leave. This is her home. This is where she lives. This is where she's happy."
And in unison, Bree and I went "AWWWWWWWWWW"
Not that they kissed and made up. I hardly see the adults anymore. Joan is here, downstairs, but Les and Kat come in and out at intervals and are never really together........
I am absolutely AWESOME.
Who has most influenced you the most creatively, and how?

It's no so much of a "Who", really. OKay, it can be.
Lady GaGa had a lot of fun in that category, believe me, with her music, her voice, and her causes. The MaMa Monster is the only person who has really influenced me.
The "What" is bigger. Music, in it's amazing whole. It gives me ideas and thoughts and gives me the itch to draw. It creates so much. The other "What" is anime and manga. I wouldn't have a style without it, and it gives me so many ideas.
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